Weed Ganja Marijuana Mary Jane Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes #118

From the 2007 Archives:

What came first, 420-friendlies buying the costumes on this list or the soul-gutting costume industry prompting 420-friendliness? I don’t know but I’d prefer a bunch of couch-contained tokers to any of these Weed Halloween Costumes running around my neighborhood. But hey, I’m a Californian.

Champion Cock Fighter Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #109

From the 2007 Archives:

Thanks to Raisenette for the 11th Hour tip of the Champion Cock Fighter Halloween Costume. I chose Champion Cock for the King of all Inappropriateness because it is hideously ugly, abnormal, topical and ethically repugnant. The obvious – as per the case of Michael Vic, animal fights for sport are, to say the least, culturally unacceptable in the mighty USA. You’re definitely going to need those boxing gloves if you wear this costume, son, because you’re going to get your ass whooped. And on a sportsmanship note, what’s up with the cracked-out chicken eyes? Someone’s been drugging before the big match again. And traveling a little further, the human-like abs… what the hell is this thing anyway? I’m so far lost in its mire I can barely peck my way out. Dang, it’s like Chernobyl at the Perdue Plant.

Fig Leaf Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #94

From the 2007 Archives:

Mea Culpa! Would you be able to identify the foliage in the Fig Leaf Halloween Costume if it came bopping ’round your ‘hood? Didn’t think so. Sure, you’d get extra points for being confident enough to dally around in those green tights but do you really want to embody the foliage most known for covering repressed jock areas? Enormous cartoon Mickey gloves fused with lost Fruit of the Loom mascot will only elicit a lot of Halloween “huh?”s.

Pig Mask Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #73

From the 2007 Archives:

I sort of feel victimized just by looking at this fleshy and morosely smug Pig Halloween Costume Mask. There are going to be an awful lot of crying kids if you go prancing about town in this thing. Please don’t expose this thing to anyone not old enough to watch DELIVERANCE. And stay out of Georgia! Your Hogzilla butt may be roped, tied and photographed for the next issue of National Geographic! Actually, after my breakfast of Cheetos, it sort of makes me hungry for apples.

Corn Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #72
From the 2007 Archives:

I can totally picture some poor kid’s cheesy dad thinking that this is a good idea. Like he would think giving his kids root beer before bedtime is a good idea. Both have 0 nutritional value. And this one is likely to get him shucked and TP’d by the neighborhood hooligans. Sorry, pal, nobody’s going to be cross-pollinating you this Halloween.