Can of Whoop Ass Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #100

From the 2007 Arhives:

Hee hee. The Inflatable Can of Whoop Ass Halloween Costume could really sock you a good one. Of course, I’d really like a geek crawl up into one of these things and see what happens. There’s just something about a ‘roid rager popping out of a constrictive can that sure tickles my funny bone. A modern equivalent of trick snakes jumping out of a fake peanut can. Bring on the juice! I mean, nobody’s going to encourage this thing with sugar if it trick-or-treats but it’d still be fun to see it roaming the ‘hood.

The Whoop Ass halloween Costume is available from Buy Costumes.

Royal Flush Urinal Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #70

From the 2007 Archives:

Um, this Royal Flush Urinal Halloween Costume comes with a “plastic working urinal” so I guess whoever is bold/stupid enough to wear this horrid outfit better be prepared to get peed on. And like my fourth grade teacher used to say, it’s better to get pissed off than pissed on. Poor humored frattie, wait ’til all the red cups are empty and your bros have had their way with you, you might be able to score some action from the drunk and slutty genie in the corner… or a gambling addict.

The Royal Flush Urinal Halloween Costume is available from Halloween Store.

Television Set TV Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #42

From the 2006 Archives;

First of all, this Television TV Set Halloween Costume is of very poor construction. You can easily make a better one with black paint, tin foil and couple slabs of cardboard. This costume truly spotlights the wearer’s ego centrism. And what a way to celebrate your needy ego in an out-dated (rabbit ears!), shoddily crafted idiot-box. Perhaps if you paired a TV costume with an evil politician mask (your choice) and a pitchfork you might be saying SOMETHING. But as is, this costume is a disgrace to craftsmanship everywhere.

Dirty Hand Lotion Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #41

From the 2006 Archives:

LTM Party, celebrating lifetime memories, describes this costume as “Oh boys will be boys! Make the ladies giggle with glee.” Who in the hell celebrates lifetime memories in a Dirty Hand Lotion Halloween Costume? And what ladies are giggling with glee? I just don’t understand all these stupid phallo-centric outfits where the dude is trying to get his hoo-hah grabbed. Sir, you look like an impotent douche in this aqua-bubbly outfit.

The Dirty Hand Lotion Halloween Costume is available from LTM Party.

Baby Air Freshener Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #34

From the 2006 Archives:

The Baby Air Freshener Halloween Costume is possibly even more idiotic than the Cheeseburger in Paradise Halloween Costume.  Who is the concept artist for these things?  Of all the adorable infant costumes out there, why oh why would you choose to swaddle your bundle of preciousness in a car air freshener costume this Halloween?  Meaningless novelty household items are just that.  Meaningless.  Novelty.  And usually obnoxious.  Run, baby, run!