Christmas Tree Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #108

From the 2007 Archives:

Sweet lord, whoever shimmies into this Christmas Tree Halloween Costume gets the Hatchetface respect. I like the fully conceptualized design of this costume, from star atop head to wrapped presents on feet. Heck, even the arms and legs flawlessly mesh with the overall ensemble. Great color scheme too. Of course the costume is holiday inappropriate for Halloween, but a mere month later, this Christmas tree could stand innocuously against a wall and scare the bajeebers out of passersby. Genius.

The Christmas Tree Halloween Costume is available from Anytime Costumes.

Bad Santa Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #107

From the 2007 Archives:

The Klaus in the Bad Santa Halloween Costume be downing major Haterade and I’m a sucker for monochromes. The clangly bell, touching on sketchy Salvation Army wheelings and dealings (Really, they lawyered up against Pop Pop’s loaded friend – angry at their mere 10% cut – after he left the bulk of his estate to his son, and threatened to bankrupt the estate if they didn’t get more, more, more! The SA’s threats, sadly, were effective.) integrates a sophisticated shade of foulness into an already damnable costume. Bah Humbug Santa isn’t jolly-portly like his red and white counterpart. Rather, he’s an indulgent but fun-loving rough rider who’d assuredly pop you one if you got on the wrong side of his sleigh. Bad Santa is anti-holiday and dang satisfied!

The Bad Santa Halloween Costume is available from Halloween Costumes 4U.

Dog Shalom Rabbi Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume#105

From the 2007 Archives:

I like this Dog Shalom Rabbi Halloween Costume because the royal blue yarmulke and Star of David sash perfectly complement the weimaraner’s skin tone and somber expression. The dachshund, however, is just plain ridiculous.

Enormous Holiday Christmas Bear Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #97


From the 2007 Archives:

Forget cute and cuddly, this jacked bear scares the crap out of me. Overlook the holiday-inappropriate Santa hat and the enormous ’80s bow on the collar, the black leather Hell’s Angels vest and tough paw winds up for a hearty bitch slap. A walking animatronic nightmare.

The Ginormous Holiday Christmas Bear is available from Halloween Costumes 4U.

Fig Leaf Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #94

From the 2007 Archives:

Mea Culpa! Would you be able to identify the foliage in the Fig Leaf Halloween Costume if it came bopping ’round your ‘hood? Didn’t think so. Sure, you’d get extra points for being confident enough to dally around in those green tights but do you really want to embody the foliage most known for covering repressed jock areas? Enormous cartoon Mickey gloves fused with lost Fruit of the Loom mascot will only elicit a lot of Halloween “huh?”s.

Christmas Holiday Santa Cat Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #83
From the 2007 Archives:

Who says this cat kills its owner in his sleep? Nothing chimes Holiday Spirit less than a feline in a Santa hat and matching holly scarf. Be prepared for a Dickensian intervention. Tip #1: Nobody will fawn over your Christmas cat. They will be too busy questioning your mental soundness. Tip #2: If your cat tolerates this outfit, what you own is not a cat.

Adam and Eve Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #80

From the 2007 Archives:

If you are not an albino, you should not be wearing this blindingly pale body suit adorned with shiny plastic fig leaves. As we all know, Halloween’s just another excuse to get naked and gorge on sweets so why don the body suit at all? A more natural – and more biblical – approach (which even the prudes can admit looks much better) can be crafted with just a spool of thread and handful of foliage. Beware of companies selling Adam and Eve costumes with floral leis… nowhere in Genesis does it say that A&E got their groove on at any luaus.

Easter Egg Man Bunny Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #74

From the 2007 Archives:

Sweet lord, where do I start? I don’t care what holiday it is. An enormous bunny carrying a pastel dinosaur egg with a fetal man inside… it’s just not natural and really damages the evolutionary debate. Anti-Darwinian blasphemy!

The Easter Egg Man Halloween Costume is available from Stage Craft Inc.

Hari Krishna Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #61

From the 2007 Archives:

Yo dude, ragging on other people’s (or your own) religion just isn’t cool. And the costume description for this Hari Krishna Halloween Costume just ain’t right either, “Don’t wear this get up to the airport or you may get into a turf war.” Hee hee. I mean, I would stay away from the Wawas too. Sacrilege!

Voodoo Doll Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #56

From the 2006 Archives:

The Voodoo Doll Halloween Costume is cute and original, but kinda misses the scary mark because unless Mr. Voodoo Doll represents you, there ain’t no need to freak. That is precisely why I suggest that if you go this route, know your neighbors’ dirty laundry and carry around nameplates. Then, when you arrive on their front porch with your pillow case open to receive the goods, you can slap on the appropriate nameplate and re-attach pins where needed. Deliciously demented.

The Voodoo Doll Halloween Costume is available from Wacky Planet.

Pregnant Nun Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #12

From the 2006 Archives:

The Pregnant Nun Halloween Costume is just your traditional, sick Halloween garb.  Because the nun doesn't look too upset, and, in fact, looks pretty masculine with the 5 o'clock shadow, I instead choose to view this as a transvestite immaculate conception, so help me god.

(This also comes in an "aroused priest" costume which is pretty lame so I didn't bother to post the picture.  It's just a pair of black pants with a pixie stick jammed inside to create a tent-pole effect.)