Inappropriate Halloween Costume #136
Oh women politicians, are we ever going to take you seriously? With the suggestive Sarah Palin Huntress Halloween Costume, the answer is no way, babe. Setting human decency back to pre-Neandratholic times, this short-dress-rifle combo is an exercise in ridiculousness. Propagating the inherent mental challenges of game hunters, the Sarah Palin Halloween Costume is asking to be run back to Russia. 'cause that's next to Alaska, right? I mean, sheesh, with such a little bitty hemline inappropriate for any outdoor sport, it'd be more uncomfortable than a teen pregnancy scandal, trooper firing scandal, intelligence scandal... you take your pick. I'd remark that this costume is out of mode but it's just like the lady herself... annoyingly resurgent.
The Sarah Palin Halloween Costume is available from Rickys.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sarah Palin Halloween Costume
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Way High Patrol Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #129
Hey, mon, any 420-friendly ganja-lovers won't have the brain processing power to get that the Rastafarian highway patrol man is really a Way High Highway Patrolman Halloween Costume. The "Way-High" marijuana leaf patch is a nice clue but the synthetic dreads may distract stoned readers as fondle-friendly locks. Unfortunately, this fun-loving Super Trooper looks more like an albino Caribbean porter than in any relaxed law-enforcement trade.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Special Forces Halloween Costume for Kids
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #86
From the 2007 Archives:
Trick or treat! Give me all of your @#$*(&! candy! Think you’d be scared if this Special Forces Halloween Costume for Kids came a knockin’? Tough! Special Forces Junior will throw tear gas through your window, break down your door and take whatever the Osama he wants anyway ’cause we know the squirt ain’t on any counter-terrorism missions. War! What is it good for? Besides injecting thuggish fear into law-abiding citizens, this Special Forces Costume for Kids flaunts illegally realistic firepower. Parents, use sound judgment. Take away Junior’s ATV and don’t buy him this ensemble!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Slutty Librarian Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #79
From the 2007 Archives:
As Target so eloquently illustrates, one man’s “sassy” is another man’s “slutty”. Who knew such fine social institutions could be so desecrated? While libraries may favor protecting your identity over revealing who’s checking out threatening materials to Big Brother, they will not tolerate porn-surfing on their computers. Therefore, I can not honestly believe in the authenticity of this Madame Librarian. (Unless she works for Flynt Publications.)
The Slutty Naughty Sassy Librarian Halloween Costume is available from Target.
Race Horse and Jockey Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #75
From the 2007 Archives:
Er, parents, please don’t let your kids or neighbors see you out and about on the cul-de-sac in these weird Race Horse and Jockey Halloween Costumes, unless you want to reveal your S&M and bondage fetishes. Look at dad’s subservient pose to mom’s feisty domination. Dang, lock these people right up in the Hellfire Club.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Snake Charmer Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #69
From the 2007 Archives:
Great. Another Halloween Costume ruined by accentuating some dork’s dork (and this time accessorizing it with hippie beads.) So this shmaltz is charming his own hoo-ha with a penny whistle? He’s going to be playing with himself for a really, really long time.
Steroids and Bratwursts Personal Trainer Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #65
From the 2007 Archives:
Thanks, Walmart, for another inflatable misstep. While the potbelly peeking out from the personal trainer mini-tee might be ironic in and of itself, one has to consider the bigger picture. The unnatural biceps popping from the forearm, the ‘roid-rage of a face… yeah, the Steroids Personal Trainer Halloween Costume’s going a little Chris Benoit. And for anyone who thinks steroids are a joke, I recommend the TLC program THE MAN WHOSE ARMS EXPLODED. That was one nasty and disturbing show. Maybe Walmart thinks this obscenely-figured Personal Trainer Costume is clever but in the modern age, this costume is a little too dicey. Particularly if you slip on a cap and bicycle shorts and call it a Floyd Landis.
The Steroids Personal Trainer Halloween Costume is available from Walmart.
Fat Clown Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #64
From the 2007 Archives:
I don’t like clowns. This Fat Clown Halloween Costume with its scarier-than-crunk face paint and black hightops evokes less of a friendly circus horse manure scooper and more of a serial killer John Wayne Gacy. His (camera) left hand is positioned in a prime neck-wringing pose. Coincidence? I don’t want to find out.
The Fat Clown Halloween Costume is available from Halloween Costumes 4 U.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Reno 911 Lt. Dangle Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #50
From the 2006 Archives:
Look closely, Lt. Dangle is made out of pleather. God bless the man that’s comfortable in hot-pants and is brave enough to parade about in this Lt. Dangle Reno 911 Halloween Costume of greatness. (Particularly if your audience is, shall we say, unfamiliar with the Reno gem.)
Birthday Stripper in Cake Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costumes #49
From the 2006 Archives:
More appropriate for an adult venue than an all-ages holiday, the Birthday Stripper Halloween Costume excels by positing a gross bubba as a desirable spectacle. However, he does look like he's having a mighty fine time.
The Birthday Stripper Halloween Costume is available from All Costumes.
Street Entrepreneur Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #48
From the 2006 Archives:
Totally cheese and mostly tame, the Street Entrepreneur Halloween Costume has a kitsch factor that’s surprisingly appealing and just a tad street creepy. Harkens back to the day when The Machine would conjur an old man’s voice and say, “Wanna buy a pen?” and then, when I was trying to figure out what he was talking about, he would punch me in the kidneys.
The Street Entrepreneur Halloween Costume is available from Halloween Express.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Ron Jeremy Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #26
From the 2006 Archives:
Some companies call this the "Super Stud" but come on, whom are they fooling? It's obviously a Ron Jeremy Halloween Costume or maybe with the tropical shirt, a down-and-out Magnum P.I. Either way, pants up or down, this costume is 100% grotesque. What is up with the body hair that was applied with a can of Kraft EZ Cheese? Um, Hurl!
Mammogram Man Halloween Costume
Inappropriate Halloween Costume #24
From the 2006 Archives:
The Mammogram Man Halloween Costume is totally tasteless and offensive to at least 53% of the population. Way to misogynistically and arbitrarily belittle life-saving machines of modern medicine. Dudes, how would you feel if this guy was dressed up as a proctologist? I'm just sayin'. Besides, Mammogram Man looks like he's in one of those hazmat suits from E.T. This guy, obviously knows nothing about tatas.
The Mammogram Man Halloween Costume is available from Wacky Planet.
