Freshman 15 Fifteen Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #152

Look, okay, some of us Froshes didn't gain 15 pounds from beer guzzling, like the Freshman Fifteen 15 Halloween Costume suggests.  Maybe the jerks in administration thought that it was okay to take $40,000 a year from us while feeding us carb-loaded slop.  The Freshman 15 Fifteen Halloween Costume features a muffin top spilling over a peek-a-boo thonged miniskirt that was popular, oh, like 8 years ago.  Sure, you'll see plenty of midriffs and skin at those ever-packed freshman keggers but, especially in winter, most of those poor lasses will be huddled together, shivering and wondering how come the kollege let in so many geeks and gee, frat boys are kinda gross.  Seriously, this looks like something Steve (Ian Ziering) would have been forced to wear in his K.E.G party boy ways during the last season of the original Beverly Hills 90210.

Beerman Superhero Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Cotume #134

I'll take a double. If an underwear-on-the-outside with tights super hero costume wasn't adequately indicative of drunkery, the Beerman Superhero Halloween Costume brings all the elements of terrible frat party icon-worship to an obvious head. Beerman totes a sixpack and has a holster of beers in reserve tethered to his waist. The bright yellow wristbands and leg warmers are a bit of a mystery but I guess you can't expect sharp stylings from a boozehound. The bad Bono beer goggle-mask? I don't think all the beer in the world can make those look like a good idea.

Vodka Bottle Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #62

From the 2007 Archives:

I had real reservations about including this “totally” lame-ass Vodka Halloween Costume into this series, but thanks to Target promotion of egregious holiday boozing, it has vaulted into the file of corporate irresponsibility. Yes indeed, we can now easily identify the party’s biggest idiot... Keifer "Jack Bauer" Sutherland.

Breathalyzer Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #39

From the 2006 Archives:

Perhaps drunk people might laugh at you in the Breathalyzer Halloween Costume. Perhaps they might retaliate against the embodiment of reckless stodginess. You’re really rolling the dice on this costume. Especially since Breathalyzer is quite perverse as noted by the precarious location of the blow tube. You won’t even get the squares on your side. This costume disaster is sure to celebrate Halloween friendless and alone.

Beer Keg Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #38

From the 2006 Archives:

Idiocracy now on tap with the Beer Keg Halloween Costume and all its foam glory. Particularly if you’re over 21.