Dick in a Box Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #153

One, you make a hole in the box... The Dick in a Box Halloween Costume pays homage to the viral SNL digital short starring Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake as a junk-obsessed 90's ballading boy band. I don't know if it's too ridiculous for my tastes by the Dick in the Box sketch only hooked me with the "no hands" construction of the shiny-bowed package.  I prefer "Motherlover" 10 to 1.  The Dick in a Box Halloween Costume is an almost-but-not-quite choice for those nerds with a discerning sense of humor wanting to impress the middle class everywhere.

50 Cent Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #146

Move over Eminem Halloween Costume, there's a new white rapper in town. Check out the 50 Cent - Fitty Cent Halloween Costume and be the envy of your cul-de-sac. Crafted in lovely dull-gray foam, the 50 Cent Halloween Costume features a bullet-ridden goateed Babe Ruth in baseball cap on the squishy coin.  Be sure to wear your own do-rag and snarl as you strut around Creamcheese, USA but watch out for the neighborhood brats with BB guns 'cuz you know a couple kids out there will want to make this outfit way realistic!  Ain't no amount of Vitamin Water gonna save you now, homes.

Michael Jackson Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #132

Throughout his career, both music and personal, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson paraded around in a host of brow-raising outfits. This fire-enging red Thriller livery highlighted in the Michael Jackson Halloween Costume is a nice example of Jacko's opulent, out-there modus operandi... one that in its extreme saw his downfall and ultimate demise. Come to think of it, Brittney Spears had a similar look in her Oops, I Did It Again / fire phase. Sigh, maybe shiny red things should be omens to peak performers to slow that circus down! The bright white glove in the Michael Jackson vinyl bonanza is extra troubling, drawing a Mickey Mouse parallel and evoking disturbing childish images. The low down? Just beat it.

Baby Elvis Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #103

From the 2007 Archives:

No denying, this baby in the Elvis Baby Halloween Costume is bad ass. And don’t you dare make fun of the ill-fitting Mr. T ‘do. Elvis baby is taking care of business and you better deal with it. Just ask the snarl. I love it..

Jack Osbourne Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #77

From the 2007 Archives:

The price on this horror upon horrors Jack Osborne Halloween Costume has dropped from $28.00 to $6.00 and that should be a warning to all you Yanks. Those horrid Osbournes were so 4 years (and in Jack’s case, 50 lbs and many bad hairstyles) ago. Of course, you could modify this with a lip ring, bible and cap for a Revolution Church-Jay Bakker look.

Hellvis / Evil Elvis Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #54

From the 2006 Archives:

Very doubtful that most folk will intuitively string together the Hell+Elvis = Hellvis play on words so be prepared to be mistaken for one slick flashy-red devil in this Hellvis / Evil Elvis Halloween Costume. Unless you actually believe Elvis is (or, for conspiracy theorists, belongs) in hell, underneath the cooler than thou exterior, Hellvis just don’t make much sense. But then again, neither do Dixie-fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches (Which I really couldn’t force myself to eat at the Sun Studio Cafe in Memphis, even though they were being served up by a heavily-tatted fry cook). Fundamentally, though, we all know that Elvis is waiting in line for that great big buffet on Neptune. And being the word, pop culture and absurdist geek that I am, I love, love, love Hellvis.

Sebastian Bach Heavy Metal Halloween Costume Wig

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #52
From the 2006 Archives:

Picture a suburban Mom or Dad gettin’ all duded up in one of these Sebastian Bach Halloween Costume Wigs and the doorbell chimes. Mom or Dad grabs the bowl of Tootsie Pops and greets the neighborhood trick or treaters who grab the candy, take one look at Mom or Dad, chortle and vow to return at midnight to TP the house. Why? Because unless you’re getting ready for just another Saturday night at the Rainbow, this costume will carbon-date you. And if you’re carbon-dated, you’re square. Except if you’re 70+ then you return to cool.

(Now if your heart is set on the Sebastian Bach Glam Rock wig, you can flex your brain and incorporate it into a collective Stars Hallow Supergroup costume featuring Gil, Kirk, Michel, Miss Patty, Taylor and Mrs. Kim. And then I will bow down before you and extend great tidings.)

Devo Whip It Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #51

From the 2006 Archives:

Good luck finding this Devo radiaton suit as it is sold out all over the place. The Devo Halloween Costume, accented by literal “Whip It” whip, is chumpy, cheap, outdated, odd and bizarrely heart-warming. Expect blank stares and occasional crying from tots.

Cheeseburger in Paradise Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #33

From the 2006 Archives:

Congratulations, dude in the Cheeseburger in Paradise Halloween Costume, you're a walking Jimmy Buffet song... and yet I am almost certain that Buffet fans will have no idea what this happy-go-lucky Hamburgler/tropical shirt combo is inferring.  After all, peeps has got copyrights to worry about.  This costume garners more what the hells than oh yeahs.  Jimmy Buffet plus Halloween?  Nah.  Save it for Florida.

The Cheeseburger in Paradise Halloween Costume is available from Four Eyes Joke Shop.

Eminem Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #22


From the 2006 Archives:

The official name for this "white rapper" getup is Tighty Whitey, despite the model's Asian-i-tude.  An obvious Eminem / Slim Shady / Marshall Mathers knockoff.  Lame and dated.  Don't do it.  Not many people can pull off orange, anyway.  Da Ali G costume is an acceptable rapper replacement.  Parody of a parody.  Wrap your brain around that one.  Quite a popular Halloween costume, again, this year.

Wacko Jacko Halloween Costume Mask

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #19

From the 2006 Archives:

Dare to celebrate the occasion as a man-child pedophile?  The Wacko Jacko Halloween Costume Mask in all its thoroughly inappropriate glory is the one for you!  Includes overly collagened lips, caved-in nose, perma-eyeliner, wig-ish hair and sad eyes.  Does not include baby-dangling Blanket.  If you deign to trick-or-treat at Tom Sneddon's house as Wacko Jacko, please take pictures.  If you don't, you'll be arrested.

The Wacko Jacko Halloween Costume Mask is available from Halloween Store.