Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #155

Shoddy, painted grocery bag-like construction informs the Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume. Dated, outside of aging baby-boomers, the Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume is lay-it-on-the-tracks lame. These days, it's all about Wicked and soylent green Elfaba. This yellow-bellied costume is possibly successful when paired with high-quality Dorothy, the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, Toto, et. al, and for over-the-top, freakish pictorals of Elton John songs.

Octomom Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #144

The Octomom "Womb Raider" Halloween Costume posits Nadya Suleman, America's favorite baby-obsessed, collagen-friendly, Angelina Jolie-lookalike, with Mrs. Brad Pitt's star-making turn as Laura Croft in Tomb Raider. Octomom features plastic tubby babies - presumably ammunition for or against the paparazzi and social services - affixed to the most bad-ass snugly ever... a criss-crossing ass-kicking bandolier which is perfect for anyone refusing to take nature's no for an answer.

The Octomom "Womb Raider" Halloween Costume is available from Rickys.

Scarface Tony Montana Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #142

The Scarface / Tony Montana Halloween Costume is the quintessential college man's milieux, right up there with beer pong, corn nuts and illegal hazing... that is, way overplayed. Heavens knows why we need to glorify the thug life,l even with someone as sharply dressed as Tony. Guaranteed, if you show up to the party as this guy, you'll meet at least five others. So if you want to sail around South Beach, you'd better be damn sure you're the most smokin' one if you ever want to score an Elvira.

Oompa Loompa Halloween Costume for Child

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #140


Yikes! As if the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory didn't do enough to distort the already freakish Oompa Loompas. That mistake of nature Willy Wonka himself couldn't do any more harm than getting entangled with the creepy Oompa Loompa population. While the new version loses the tri-tipped orange afros of yore, it adds a sharp, coldness to an already disturbing omnipotence. This child-size version of the futuristic evil space Oompa Loompas features a super shiny, surely non-breathable fabric. Snooty expression on child's face extra.

Penguin Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #135

Um, those cute March of the Penguins and Happy Feet movies are how old now? For the love of all that's natural, please, waddle where nobody can see you in the Ginormous Penguin Halloween Costume. Ever seen that episode of Cheaters where the cheater is busted in the Bumble Bee costume at Halloween? It's about as attractive as that, oversized red bow tie or not.

The Joker Batman Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #119

From the 2008 Archives:

Laughing yet? As I was driving my Granny through the deep, dark, woods, an old Buick thundered by us from the opposite direction of a no-lane road like a demon from hell. It was being driven by the above Heath Ledger as The Joker Halloween Costume. Now I did a quick search for “The Joker Halloween Costume” and the results were bountiful. Plenty of retail outlets are selling The Dark Knight: Joker Halloween Costumes for adults and children (good lord!) alike, to cash in on one of the most lucrative industries in history - celebrity death, tragedy and sensationalism.

Tara Reid Wardrobe Malfunction Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #111

From the 2007 Archives:

This Tara Reid Halloween Costume also goes by the name “Wardrobe Malfunction” but it looks suspiciously like one of Tara Reid’s more publicized red carpet moments. Pokes fun at celebrities under the influence, poor fashion sense and bad business management when these issues should be taken very seriously. Please don’t expose your children to this.

The Tara Reid / Wardrobe Malfunction Halloween Costume is available from Easleys.

Baby Elvis Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #103

From the 2007 Archives:

No denying, this baby in the Elvis Baby Halloween Costume is bad ass. And don’t you dare make fun of the ill-fitting Mr. T ‘do. Elvis baby is taking care of business and you better deal with it. Just ask the snarl. I love it..

Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #88

From the 2007 Archives:

The Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume, pre-Trim Spa bulging hot pink one-piece paired with platinum ‘do, says more than enough. Listen, I was never a fan of the woman but sometimes we’ve got to rise above and not kick ‘em when they're down. Or dead.

The Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume is available from Costumes 4 Less.

Flying Monkey Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #68

From the 2007 Archives:

Is it just me or does this Wizard of Oz Flying Monkey Halloween Costume look like he’s about to F you up? This thing isn’t a minion, it’s a thug. With boxing glove paws and a He-Man t-shirt, he’s ready to pop you one. I can’t tell if this monkey has wings or not. Indeed if it’s a flying monkey, it needs either wings or a jetpack. It certainly can’t fly by his Dumbo ears. Why the hell are his ears so big anyway? Props for the punky Mohawk, though.

The Flying Monkey Halloween Costume is available from Target.

Yoda Halloween Costume for Dogs

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #28

From the 2006 Archives:

Listen up, I'm only going to say this once.  Pets are not meant to wear costumes.  Particularly the Yoda Halloween Costume for Dogs.  I don't care how cutesy they are, it's not right.  This is why, when The Machine, D2 and I were younger and stuck a pearl necklace and a pair of shorts on D2's mutt Einstein, he promptly took a crap in 'em.  Nature was rebelling against man's inhumanity.  I don't even want to THINK about what would happen if all the neighborhood dogs became little Yodas for the night.  Besides, I highly doubt the pooch in the picture is actually wearing this costume.  It looks entirely photoshopped.

Darth Vader Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #27
From the 2006 Archives:

The main purpose of the Darth Vader Halloween Costume for Kids is to pronounce the ineptitude of his (presumably geek) parents.  Come on, your kid is totally screwed if you start him out in life by swaddling him in the clothes of evil... and even more so if you shirt this Halloween costume for The Emperor Darth Sidious.