Anita Waxing (I Need a Waxing) Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #145

Let's go Europe, let's go! The Anita Waxing Halloween Costume (I Need a Waxing) proudly displays a noticeably suspicious mop of fluffiness tumbling out of the southern regions of a bright red swimsuit / unitard in the manner of "female" Eastern European Olympiads circa 1985. Perfect for feminist-loving, anti-Brazilian males who've never laid eyes on a Victoria's Secret catalog. With this version's life guard / Baywatch-bright swimsuit, the whole costume is a complete Pam Anderson meets Grizzly Adams magnificence.

Note:  the LeAnn Rimes wig is sold separately.

Scarface Tony Montana Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #142

The Scarface / Tony Montana Halloween Costume is the quintessential college man's milieux, right up there with beer pong, corn nuts and illegal hazing... that is, way overplayed. Heavens knows why we need to glorify the thug life,l even with someone as sharply dressed as Tony. Guaranteed, if you show up to the party as this guy, you'll meet at least five others. So if you want to sail around South Beach, you'd better be damn sure you're the most smokin' one if you ever want to score an Elvira.

Trophy Wife Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #141

A Trophy Wife Halloween Costume? Like gag me with a martini olive. That is so 1980s. Really, it's the year of the cougar, baby. The Trophy Wife Halloween Costume places a Dynasty-esque creature on a literal "trophy" base and has poor blondie confined like some pathetic American Gigolo reject. Let's hope Trophy Wife is someone's bad idea of a joke or else y'all need to get off of your yacht and go straight to the therapist's chair.

A perfect portrayal of The Real Housewives of... Orange County, Atlanta, Yellowknife, wherever.

Wheaties Box Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #76

From the 2007 Archives:

Oh Johnny, don’t you know that Halloween is a time to ditch your wholesome side for something more ghoulish? Okay, I’ll concede that if your parents are on the fence about the whole Satan-worshiping holiday thing then suggesting a tame costume might swing the pendulum to your side. But like, does anyone even eat Wheaties anymore? Wasn’t that an ’80s thing?