50 Cent Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #146

Move over Eminem Halloween Costume, there's a new white rapper in town. Check out the 50 Cent - Fitty Cent Halloween Costume and be the envy of your cul-de-sac. Crafted in lovely dull-gray foam, the 50 Cent Halloween Costume features a bullet-ridden goateed Babe Ruth in baseball cap on the squishy coin.  Be sure to wear your own do-rag and snarl as you strut around Creamcheese, USA but watch out for the neighborhood brats with BB guns 'cuz you know a couple kids out there will want to make this outfit way realistic!  Ain't no amount of Vitamin Water gonna save you now, homes.

Scarface Tony Montana Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #142

The Scarface / Tony Montana Halloween Costume is the quintessential college man's milieux, right up there with beer pong, corn nuts and illegal hazing... that is, way overplayed. Heavens knows why we need to glorify the thug life,l even with someone as sharply dressed as Tony. Guaranteed, if you show up to the party as this guy, you'll meet at least five others. So if you want to sail around South Beach, you'd better be damn sure you're the most smokin' one if you ever want to score an Elvira.

Sarah Palin Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #136

Oh women politicians, are we ever going to take you seriously? With the suggestive Sarah Palin Huntress Halloween Costume, the answer is no way, babe. Setting human decency back to pre-Neandratholic times, this short-dress-rifle combo is an exercise in ridiculousness. Propagating the inherent mental challenges of game hunters, the Sarah Palin Halloween Costume is asking to be run back to Russia. 'cause that's next to Alaska, right? I mean, sheesh, with such a little bitty hemline inappropriate for any outdoor sport, it'd be more uncomfortable than a teen pregnancy scandal, trooper firing scandal, intelligence scandal... you take your pick. I'd remark that this costume is out of mode but it's just like the lady herself... annoyingly resurgent.

The Sarah Palin Halloween Costume is available from Rickys.

Michael Jackson Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #132

Throughout his career, both music and personal, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson paraded around in a host of brow-raising outfits. This fire-enging red Thriller livery highlighted in the Michael Jackson Halloween Costume is a nice example of Jacko's opulent, out-there modus operandi... one that in its extreme saw his downfall and ultimate demise. Come to think of it, Brittney Spears had a similar look in her Oops, I Did It Again / fire phase. Sigh, maybe shiny red things should be omens to peak performers to slow that circus down! The bright white glove in the Michael Jackson vinyl bonanza is extra troubling, drawing a Mickey Mouse parallel and evoking disturbing childish images. The low down? Just beat it.

Kate Gosselin Halloween Costume Wig

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #128

I agree, Kate Gosselin, and the other face of Cerberus, Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate plus Eight are creepy, slimy and scary but do they need any more publicity with the Kate Gosselin Halloween Costume wig? The Labor Commission says NO! This Halloween Costume is almost as worse as the time kids trick-or-treated around my college campus as Patsy Ramsey.

Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #127

The Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume very strangely incorporates weird 3D retro glasses into a utilitarian asexual "Pat"-like brown jumpsuit. Super internationally savvy (and inherently non-American) folks might grin at this realistically bland rendition of America's favorite dictator and censor, or, more likely, they'll be remarking about the odd-looking robot on the loose around town. Really, how old is he?

The Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume is available from Ricky's.

Bernie Madoff Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #123

The Bernie Madoff Halloween Costume is great... if you want to get pummeled. Halloween is a time of fun escapism and running around as this nation's preeminent poster grandpa of corruption and pyramid schemes is just way too skin-crawly scary. Know what it's like to get hit in the face by a sack of pennies? 'cause that's what you're in for.

Tara Reid Wardrobe Malfunction Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #111

From the 2007 Archives:

This Tara Reid Halloween Costume also goes by the name “Wardrobe Malfunction” but it looks suspiciously like one of Tara Reid’s more publicized red carpet moments. Pokes fun at celebrities under the influence, poor fashion sense and bad business management when these issues should be taken very seriously. Please don’t expose your children to this.

The Tara Reid / Wardrobe Malfunction Halloween Costume is available from Easleys.

Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #88

From the 2007 Archives:

The Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume, pre-Trim Spa bulging hot pink one-piece paired with platinum ‘do, says more than enough. Listen, I was never a fan of the woman but sometimes we’ve got to rise above and not kick ‘em when they're down. Or dead.

The Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume is available from Costumes 4 Less.

Trailer Park King Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #85

From the 2007 Archives:

What is the lowest common denominator? Those on the bottom rungs of the socioeconomic ladder or those choosing to exploit those on the bottom rungs of the socioeconomic ladder? You know whom I vote for. Let’s examine this revolting Trailer Park King Halloween Costume: “blue-collar” coveralls, a trucker hat, a white undershirt, a pot belly and some pretty fly boots. Inconsistently insulting. And I don’t know if anyone’s been to a trailer park recently, but some of those trailers are frickin’ sweet rides. Not just for hurricanes anymore, folks.

Department of Erections Excited Inmate Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #59

From the 2007 Archives:

Look, I don’t know if anyone’s seen OZ or even NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC: INSIDE SUPERMAX but inmates are SCARY. And the only thing more disturbing than a sociopath is a sociopath with a boner, as illustrated in the Department of Erections / Excited Inmate Halloween Costume. I’m not sure of Ted Bundy’s state when he impersonated Pa’s friend after stealing his wallet at a bar but I wouldn’t touch that pole with a 10-foot pole. And especially this guy who looks like he could use an intensive trip to the dentist. What’s up with the sneakers, by the way? Totally inauthentic. I thought they only let them wear pink slippers.

Hellvis / Evil Elvis Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #54

From the 2006 Archives:

Very doubtful that most folk will intuitively string together the Hell+Elvis = Hellvis play on words so be prepared to be mistaken for one slick flashy-red devil in this Hellvis / Evil Elvis Halloween Costume. Unless you actually believe Elvis is (or, for conspiracy theorists, belongs) in hell, underneath the cooler than thou exterior, Hellvis just don’t make much sense. But then again, neither do Dixie-fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches (Which I really couldn’t force myself to eat at the Sun Studio Cafe in Memphis, even though they were being served up by a heavily-tatted fry cook). Fundamentally, though, we all know that Elvis is waiting in line for that great big buffet on Neptune. And being the word, pop culture and absurdist geek that I am, I love, love, love Hellvis.

Saddam Hussein Halloween Costume Mask

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #35

From the 2006 Archives:

Ever since Saddam Hussein was caught in a filthy hole, eating wieners and looking like a muddy Woodstock hippie, his scare stock crashed.  Therefore, the Saddam Hussein Halloween Costume ask is neither frightening, nor, given the current unrest in the Middle East, funny.  Plus, the red beret fashion this Hussein rendition into an unshaven pansy of an art student.  I've met many in my life so I can expertly assess this character as WEAK.

Darth Vader Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #27
From the 2006 Archives:

The main purpose of the Darth Vader Halloween Costume for Kids is to pronounce the ineptitude of his (presumably geek) parents.  Come on, your kid is totally screwed if you start him out in life by swaddling him in the clothes of evil... and even more so if you shirt this Halloween costume for The Emperor Darth Sidious.

Wacko Jacko Halloween Costume Mask

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #19

From the 2006 Archives:

Dare to celebrate the occasion as a man-child pedophile?  The Wacko Jacko Halloween Costume Mask in all its thoroughly inappropriate glory is the one for you!  Includes overly collagened lips, caved-in nose, perma-eyeliner, wig-ish hair and sad eyes.  Does not include baby-dangling Blanket.  If you deign to trick-or-treat at Tom Sneddon's house as Wacko Jacko, please take pictures.  If you don't, you'll be arrested.

The Wacko Jacko Halloween Costume Mask is available from Halloween Store.

Pregnant Nun Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #12

From the 2006 Archives:

The Pregnant Nun Halloween Costume is just your traditional, sick Halloween garb.  Because the nun doesn't look too upset, and, in fact, looks pretty masculine with the 5 o'clock shadow, I instead choose to view this as a transvestite immaculate conception, so help me god.

(This also comes in an "aroused priest" costume which is pretty lame so I didn't bother to post the picture.  It's just a pair of black pants with a pixie stick jammed inside to create a tent-pole effect.)

Robert E. Lee Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes #11

From the 2006 Archives:

Remember, we're talking about dressing up for Halloween, not putting on a socially-conscious school play. Just in case you haven’t humiliated your child enough in his young life, dress him up in an authentic Robert E. Lee period costume. Boy does this child look happy to be wearing this booby prize. Maybe he just realizes the futility of that shiny sword.

Osama Bin Laden Mask Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #9

From the 2006 Archives:

I bet there are plenty of people in the good ol' United States of America who wish this Inappropriate Halloween Costumes wasn't still relevant.

Waaaaaay back in the year 2006 I asked, "Who wants to get the crap beat out of them on Halloween? If that sounds like you then order this Osama Bin Laden mask." A carry-along dialysis machine would make a nice touch, but alas, is not included with the mask.

A rubbery mask with cartoony coal-black eyes and an even blacker soul makes this Halloween outfit-o-evil a perfect fit for Roger Rabbit's Toontown.

It was last seen noodling about Chamber of Horrors.