Cock Block Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #151

The Cock Block Halloween Costume most disturbingly marries cavalier suggestive slang with a children's toy. On no he didn't! In this case, however, I think the average viewer may just understand the effect you're going for because, indeed, wearing a baby's alphabet block around town is potent a sexual deterrent. Nice rooster cock detailing on block face. But does the wearer have to look so dang surly? I'd go with a more pouty-frustrated look.

Clapping Cymbal Toy Monkey Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #150

The Clapping Monkey Halloween Costume most derangely illustrates the wrath which any right-minded house dog exhibits when tearing into the mangey fur of a chirping simian toy.  I know.  I've witnessed it first hand.  And this monkey, with its mini-cymbals (the most annoying percussing instrument outside of the triangle), red striped inmate/elf pants, doofus red cap and constipated expression is a true study in freakdom.  Only a bona fide sociopath would don this tailed costume.

Wind Up Doll Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #60

From the 2007 Archives:

Man children give me the willies. Mechanized man children even more. But especially this Wind Up Doll Halloween Costume with his liberal rouge. Perhaps if Herr lost the balloon for a Ricola horn and broke out in a yodel, he might be cool. But right now, he just looks like any ol’ metrosexual in a bad costume who is enjoying it way too much.

The Wind Up Doll Halloween Costume is available from Target.