Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #127

The Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume very strangely incorporates weird 3D retro glasses into a utilitarian asexual "Pat"-like brown jumpsuit. Super internationally savvy (and inherently non-American) folks might grin at this realistically bland rendition of America's favorite dictator and censor, or, more likely, they'll be remarking about the odd-looking robot on the loose around town. Really, how old is he?

The Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume is available from Ricky's.

Special Forces Halloween Costume for Kids

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #86

From the 2007 Archives:

Trick or treat! Give me all of your @#$*(&! candy! Think you’d be scared if this Special Forces Halloween Costume for Kids came a knockin’? Tough! Special Forces Junior will throw tear gas through your window, break down your door and take whatever the Osama he wants anyway ’cause we know the squirt ain’t on any counter-terrorism missions. War! What is it good for? Besides injecting thuggish fear into law-abiding citizens, this Special Forces Costume for Kids flaunts illegally realistic firepower. Parents, use sound judgment. Take away Junior’s ATV and don’t buy him this ensemble!

Suicide Bomber Watch Dog Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #82
From the 2007 Archives:

So the official name of this Halloween costume is “Watch Dog” but whom are we kidding? This outfit is straight up modern suicide bomber. Yeah, this costume is future-weapons scary but like your dog’s going to get confiscated, arrested and sent to GitMo, blown up in a counter-terrorism move and/or become a martyr/poster mutt for the jihad. And look at this poor pooch’s face. He knows he’s about to be sent into dangerous territory. It’s not his fault that he’s innately predisposed to trade his life for the Milkbone sign up bonus. ALALALALA! Someone contact the ASPCA/United Nations ASAP!

Uncle Sam Halloween Costume Mask

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #78

From the 2007 Archives:

Who wants to scare some Iraqis this Halloween? Or, come to think of it, Americans as well. Nothing like a creepy ass carnival sideshow snarling Uncle Sam Halloween Costume Mask to spin patriotism into a nightmare of horrors. Jeez, no wonder I’m scared into paying my taxes.

Arabian Sheik Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #36

From the 2006 Archives:

White man dons lots of cloth, bad beard and velcroed sandals to complete sheik-dom in the Arabian Sheik Halloween Costume.  Not exactly "convincing."  But it does look pretty comfortable for summer in the San Fernando Valley.  Weren't a bunch of these guys stuffed into a VW van attempting to carry out death and destruction in the Back to the Future franchise?  I imagine less learned folk might find this scary if accented by heavy artillery but unless you want to be tarred and feathered or quartered by a couple of Ford pickups, I advise against running around in this costume.

Saddam Hussein Halloween Costume Mask

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #35

From the 2006 Archives:

Ever since Saddam Hussein was caught in a filthy hole, eating wieners and looking like a muddy Woodstock hippie, his scare stock crashed.  Therefore, the Saddam Hussein Halloween Costume ask is neither frightening, nor, given the current unrest in the Middle East, funny.  Plus, the red beret fashion this Hussein rendition into an unshaven pansy of an art student.  I've met many in my life so I can expertly assess this character as WEAK.

Robert E. Lee Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes #11

From the 2006 Archives:

Remember, we're talking about dressing up for Halloween, not putting on a socially-conscious school play. Just in case you haven’t humiliated your child enough in his young life, dress him up in an authentic Robert E. Lee period costume. Boy does this child look happy to be wearing this booby prize. Maybe he just realizes the futility of that shiny sword.

Soldier Baby Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #10

From the 2006 Archives:

Nothing says cute and cuddly like a chubby baby wrapped in camo bunting.

Ever feel like a baby could run a better war than the current administration? Order this adorable camouflaged soldier costume for your infant and start ‘em early on military ballin' (albeit Vietnam-era military ballin'). A mini Uzi would add that extra-special tastelessness to this already horrifying outfit.

Osama Bin Laden Mask Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #9

From the 2006 Archives:

I bet there are plenty of people in the good ol' United States of America who wish this Inappropriate Halloween Costumes wasn't still relevant.

Waaaaaay back in the year 2006 I asked, "Who wants to get the crap beat out of them on Halloween? If that sounds like you then order this Osama Bin Laden mask." A carry-along dialysis machine would make a nice touch, but alas, is not included with the mask.

A rubbery mask with cartoony coal-black eyes and an even blacker soul makes this Halloween outfit-o-evil a perfect fit for Roger Rabbit's Toontown.

It was last seen noodling about Chamber of Horrors.

Donald Rumsfeld Mask Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #8

From the 2006 Archives:

Donald Henry Rumsfeld served as the Bush Administration's highly controversial Secretary of Defense (his second time around the block) from 2001 to 2006 and ran the United States invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq.

Among other things, Rummy has been embroiled in scandals not limited to the crafting of war propaganda, the insufficient supply of military equipment to U.S. troops, and the torture and abuse of prisoners at Abu Ghraib.

The Donald Rumsfeld Mask Halloween Costume captures Rummy's essence in all its manufactured glory. And indeed it is bone-chilling. Almost too bone-chilling. If I met this thing in a dark alley, I’d throw Rummy the bag of candy I stole from the Lucky Charms Leprechaun and run screaming in the opposite direction. Rumsfeld, by the way, has been known to live on an estate known as "Mount Misery."