Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #155

Shoddy, painted grocery bag-like construction informs the Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume. Dated, outside of aging baby-boomers, the Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume is lay-it-on-the-tracks lame. These days, it's all about Wicked and soylent green Elfaba. This yellow-bellied costume is possibly successful when paired with high-quality Dorothy, the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, Toto, et. al, and for over-the-top, freakish pictorals of Elton John songs.

Rooster Cock Hat Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #154

Cock-a-doodle doo! You're sure gonna be heckled in this Rooster Cock Hat Halloween Costume. More snicker-worthy than a red South Carolina Gamecocks cap, the Rooster Hat Costume appears to be regurgitating a mighty happy Joe.  Yuck!  Bird lover?  Penis envy?  Just a douche?  I really don't want to figure this one out so strut on right back from where you came from, Feathers.

Freshman 15 Fifteen Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #152

Look, okay, some of us Froshes didn't gain 15 pounds from beer guzzling, like the Freshman Fifteen 15 Halloween Costume suggests.  Maybe the jerks in administration thought that it was okay to take $40,000 a year from us while feeding us carb-loaded slop.  The Freshman 15 Fifteen Halloween Costume features a muffin top spilling over a peek-a-boo thonged miniskirt that was popular, oh, like 8 years ago.  Sure, you'll see plenty of midriffs and skin at those ever-packed freshman keggers but, especially in winter, most of those poor lasses will be huddled together, shivering and wondering how come the kollege let in so many geeks and gee, frat boys are kinda gross.  Seriously, this looks like something Steve (Ian Ziering) would have been forced to wear in his K.E.G party boy ways during the last season of the original Beverly Hills 90210.

Cock Block Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #151

The Cock Block Halloween Costume most disturbingly marries cavalier suggestive slang with a children's toy. On no he didn't! In this case, however, I think the average viewer may just understand the effect you're going for because, indeed, wearing a baby's alphabet block around town is potent a sexual deterrent. Nice rooster cock detailing on block face. But does the wearer have to look so dang surly? I'd go with a more pouty-frustrated look.

Clapping Cymbal Toy Monkey Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #150

The Clapping Monkey Halloween Costume most derangely illustrates the wrath which any right-minded house dog exhibits when tearing into the mangey fur of a chirping simian toy.  I know.  I've witnessed it first hand.  And this monkey, with its mini-cymbals (the most annoying percussing instrument outside of the triangle), red striped inmate/elf pants, doofus red cap and constipated expression is a true study in freakdom.  Only a bona fide sociopath would don this tailed costume.

Geico Caveman Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #149

The Geico Caveman Halloween Costume is one ugly mother.  I hate those beasts and I hate this mask.  With dead eyes, buck teeth, caterpillar eyebrows, greasy hair, baggy eyes and a bushy beard, the Caveman Halloween Mask looks less like a simple tool adept link in man's evolutionary chain and more like a fat, brainwashed slob of some cult's brethren.  This thing is scary a hundred ways to Christmas.  Higher species will reject it.

Card Shark Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #148

Hee hee, a shark is devouring a compulsive gambler in the Card Shark Halloween Costume. I mean, AHEM. Shark attacks are a serious world-wide problem afflicting legions of stoned surfers everyday. Lest we not forget man's rightful place at the top of the food chain, RIP Crocodile Hunter. Actually, the Card Shark Halloween Costume is a rare instance where an idiom is clearly and humorously illustrated, save for the wee-bit-too-lame deck of cards on the shark's flippers.  The Card Shark Halloween Costume has another advantage of mostly hiding the wearer's featurers.  Even in the chance that he is a tool with an ingratiating sense of humor, you won't have to look at him. CHOMP.

Anorexia Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #147

The Anorexia Halloween Costume (Anna Rexia Halloween Costume) is the ultimate exploitation of disturbing diseases.  Some companies also refer to this costume as the Nicole Riche Halloween Costume which is just plain wrong.  The Anorexia Halloween Costume exploits serious social, psychological and physical illness and all under the guise of a skeleton-plastered nurse's uniform.  Medical professionals can sometimes wield their knowledge to become the sickest, most hypochondriacal ones of the bunch but unless the wearer of the Anorexia Halloween Costume is stick-thin, these duds will just appear to be from the Graveyard ER collection.  Another example of a play on words not quite translating in the visual realm.

50 Cent Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #146

Move over Eminem Halloween Costume, there's a new white rapper in town. Check out the 50 Cent - Fitty Cent Halloween Costume and be the envy of your cul-de-sac. Crafted in lovely dull-gray foam, the 50 Cent Halloween Costume features a bullet-ridden goateed Babe Ruth in baseball cap on the squishy coin.  Be sure to wear your own do-rag and snarl as you strut around Creamcheese, USA but watch out for the neighborhood brats with BB guns 'cuz you know a couple kids out there will want to make this outfit way realistic!  Ain't no amount of Vitamin Water gonna save you now, homes.

Big Top Circus Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #139
Yup, this winner's got Ringling Brothers red-striped big top tent wrapped around his groin with an elephant trunk protruding where a happy oh-no-he-didn't might be. Guys, really, y'all are way to obsessed with your own equipment and to associate it with a family-fun circus? Ew. Crowds are going to skip the shows in all three rings. Seriously, Dumbo would not approve.

Party in My Pants Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #138

The Party In My Pants Halloween makes a most creepily trash-tastic pairing of rainbow balloons and ten-for-a-dolla white skivvies. A low-brow representation of a low-brow idiom, Party In My Pants guarantees to clear the room faster than a nerd in the girls' locker room. With its perverse clown stylings, the only exposure Party In My Pants is going to get is run and hide the children kind. Mark my RSVP as no way, Jose!

Sausage and Meatballs Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #137

Sausage and Meatballs Halloween Costume. Mamma mia! Stay out of the cucina! The Sausage and Meatballs Halloween Costume, served right by the outfitter's Long John Silver, exploits the stereotype that Italian men are nothing more than a raging tube of carnal appetites. Craftily delivered by a smiling dark-haired guido in a "Longuini" apron, the Sausage and Meatballs Halloween Costume distorts perfectly delicious Italian cuisine and serves it up in a coming-on-way-too-strong manner directly from the streets of Roma. Oh dio.

Penguin Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #135

Um, those cute March of the Penguins and Happy Feet movies are how old now? For the love of all that's natural, please, waddle where nobody can see you in the Ginormous Penguin Halloween Costume. Ever seen that episode of Cheaters where the cheater is busted in the Bumble Bee costume at Halloween? It's about as attractive as that, oversized red bow tie or not.

Beerman Superhero Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Cotume #134

I'll take a double. If an underwear-on-the-outside with tights super hero costume wasn't adequately indicative of drunkery, the Beerman Superhero Halloween Costume brings all the elements of terrible frat party icon-worship to an obvious head. Beerman totes a sixpack and has a holster of beers in reserve tethered to his waist. The bright yellow wristbands and leg warmers are a bit of a mystery but I guess you can't expect sharp stylings from a boozehound. The bad Bono beer goggle-mask? I don't think all the beer in the world can make those look like a good idea.

Junk in the Trunk Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #131

"My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps." At least the Junk in the Trunk Halloween Costume isn't nearly as annoying as the Fergie song. Actually, I like the Junk in the Trunk Halloween Costume which cheekily turns funny slang into an amusing costume. Junk in the Trunk starts by over-accentuating the badonkadonk, adding an awful faux zebra-geometric print dress and finishing it off with a tacky rear-end trunk compartment complete with license plate, giving the whole ensemble a Jersey girl just arrived in Vegas feel. Will Joe Schmo viewer get that it's a Junk in the Trunk? Well, you have fun explaining it to him. The Junk in the Trunk Halloween Costume is available from Costume Kingdom.

Male Genie Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #130

Abracadabra, my brass. This Male Genie Halloween Costume sure isn't granting wishes that anybody wants. With a creepy leprechaun-green with accent-trim vest and matching monkey fez, the shiny gold assaultive-looking unit-lamp (with sharpie "Rub Me!" instructions) is a gag-inducing exercise in gleaming crass, of which only Tom Jones would be proud. The rest of us, we ask only one wish, deep six this costume deep into the Arabian Sea.

The Male Genie Halloween Costume is available from Spicy Legs.

Way High Patrol Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #129

Hey, mon, any 420-friendly ganja-lovers won't have the brain processing power to get that the Rastafarian highway patrol man is really a Way High Highway Patrolman Halloween Costume. The "Way-High" marijuana leaf patch is a nice clue but the synthetic dreads may distract stoned readers as fondle-friendly locks. Unfortunately, this fun-loving Super Trooper looks more like an albino Caribbean porter than in any relaxed law-enforcement trade.

Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #127

The Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume very strangely incorporates weird 3D retro glasses into a utilitarian asexual "Pat"-like brown jumpsuit. Super internationally savvy (and inherently non-American) folks might grin at this realistically bland rendition of America's favorite dictator and censor, or, more likely, they'll be remarking about the odd-looking robot on the loose around town. Really, how old is he?

The Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume is available from Ricky's.

Illegal Alien Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #125
The Illegal Alien Halloween Costume packs a double-whammy punch of social crises into one orange get up. This Illegal Alien picks up where the Martian G Halloween Costume left off. We're not sure how the Alien ended up in the pokey, be it sneaking his UFO into the atmosphere or just exhibiting an all around bad communist attitude, but anyway you slice it, the dude's just not legit.

Harry Potter Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #124

I know, I know, Danielle Radcliffe is like an actual adult now but there's just something waaaaaay creepy about big people dressing up as children's storybook characters and the Harry Potter Halloween Costume is no exception. I mean, really. Holy Hogwarts, it looks like evil Harry Potter on growth hormones.