Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #155

Shoddy, painted grocery bag-like construction informs the Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume. Dated, outside of aging baby-boomers, the Yellow Brick Road Halloween Costume is lay-it-on-the-tracks lame. These days, it's all about Wicked and soylent green Elfaba. This yellow-bellied costume is possibly successful when paired with high-quality Dorothy, the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, Toto, et. al, and for over-the-top, freakish pictorals of Elton John songs.

Dick in a Box Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #153

One, you make a hole in the box... The Dick in a Box Halloween Costume pays homage to the viral SNL digital short starring Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake as a junk-obsessed 90's ballading boy band. I don't know if it's too ridiculous for my tastes by the Dick in the Box sketch only hooked me with the "no hands" construction of the shiny-bowed package.  I prefer "Motherlover" 10 to 1.  The Dick in a Box Halloween Costume is an almost-but-not-quite choice for those nerds with a discerning sense of humor wanting to impress the middle class everywhere.

50 Cent Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #146

Move over Eminem Halloween Costume, there's a new white rapper in town. Check out the 50 Cent - Fitty Cent Halloween Costume and be the envy of your cul-de-sac. Crafted in lovely dull-gray foam, the 50 Cent Halloween Costume features a bullet-ridden goateed Babe Ruth in baseball cap on the squishy coin.  Be sure to wear your own do-rag and snarl as you strut around Creamcheese, USA but watch out for the neighborhood brats with BB guns 'cuz you know a couple kids out there will want to make this outfit way realistic!  Ain't no amount of Vitamin Water gonna save you now, homes.

Octomom Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #144

The Octomom "Womb Raider" Halloween Costume posits Nadya Suleman, America's favorite baby-obsessed, collagen-friendly, Angelina Jolie-lookalike, with Mrs. Brad Pitt's star-making turn as Laura Croft in Tomb Raider. Octomom features plastic tubby babies - presumably ammunition for or against the paparazzi and social services - affixed to the most bad-ass snugly ever... a criss-crossing ass-kicking bandolier which is perfect for anyone refusing to take nature's no for an answer.

The Octomom "Womb Raider" Halloween Costume is available from Rickys.

Scarface Tony Montana Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #142

The Scarface / Tony Montana Halloween Costume is the quintessential college man's milieux, right up there with beer pong, corn nuts and illegal hazing... that is, way overplayed. Heavens knows why we need to glorify the thug life,l even with someone as sharply dressed as Tony. Guaranteed, if you show up to the party as this guy, you'll meet at least five others. So if you want to sail around South Beach, you'd better be damn sure you're the most smokin' one if you ever want to score an Elvira.

Michael Jackson Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #132

Throughout his career, both music and personal, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson paraded around in a host of brow-raising outfits. This fire-enging red Thriller livery highlighted in the Michael Jackson Halloween Costume is a nice example of Jacko's opulent, out-there modus operandi... one that in its extreme saw his downfall and ultimate demise. Come to think of it, Brittney Spears had a similar look in her Oops, I Did It Again / fire phase. Sigh, maybe shiny red things should be omens to peak performers to slow that circus down! The bright white glove in the Michael Jackson vinyl bonanza is extra troubling, drawing a Mickey Mouse parallel and evoking disturbing childish images. The low down? Just beat it.

Kate Gosselin Halloween Costume Wig

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #128

I agree, Kate Gosselin, and the other face of Cerberus, Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate plus Eight are creepy, slimy and scary but do they need any more publicity with the Kate Gosselin Halloween Costume wig? The Labor Commission says NO! This Halloween Costume is almost as worse as the time kids trick-or-treated around my college campus as Patsy Ramsey.

The Joker Batman Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #119

From the 2008 Archives:

Laughing yet? As I was driving my Granny through the deep, dark, woods, an old Buick thundered by us from the opposite direction of a no-lane road like a demon from hell. It was being driven by the above Heath Ledger as The Joker Halloween Costume. Now I did a quick search for “The Joker Halloween Costume” and the results were bountiful. Plenty of retail outlets are selling The Dark Knight: Joker Halloween Costumes for adults and children (good lord!) alike, to cash in on one of the most lucrative industries in history - celebrity death, tragedy and sensationalism.

Tara Reid Wardrobe Malfunction Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #111

From the 2007 Archives:

This Tara Reid Halloween Costume also goes by the name “Wardrobe Malfunction” but it looks suspiciously like one of Tara Reid’s more publicized red carpet moments. Pokes fun at celebrities under the influence, poor fashion sense and bad business management when these issues should be taken very seriously. Please don’t expose your children to this.

The Tara Reid / Wardrobe Malfunction Halloween Costume is available from Easleys.

Disco Toddler Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #102

From the 2007 Archives:

Is the disco era really something we need to culturally immortalize? But my stars, this kid in the Disco Toddler Halloween Costume looks super fly in his fluffy afro, powder blue and sequined jumpsuit. The Hatchetheart melts just a little. My only suggestion, outfit Junior with some smooth white platforms.

Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #88

From the 2007 Archives:

The Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume, pre-Trim Spa bulging hot pink one-piece paired with platinum ‘do, says more than enough. Listen, I was never a fan of the woman but sometimes we’ve got to rise above and not kick ‘em when they're down. Or dead.

The Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume is available from Costumes 4 Less.

Shaggy Hippie Scooby Doo Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #84
From the 2007 Archives:

And your kid is representing your 420-loving proclivities and wistfulness of the days of yore. Come on, Johnny’s ability to think beyond the scope of corporate mass marketing disappeared 20 years ago. It’s all about artificial struggles (Transformers / Halo 3) this year. So we know that this kid’s inappropriate Scooby Doo Halloween costume is all his capitalist hippie parents’ doing. I mean not even the wind-blown wig is authentic. Anyone who knows anything about Scooby Doo knows that Shaggy sported a much Nappier ‘do. Zoinks.

Jack Osbourne Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #77

From the 2007 Archives:

The price on this horror upon horrors Jack Osborne Halloween Costume has dropped from $28.00 to $6.00 and that should be a warning to all you Yanks. Those horrid Osbournes were so 4 years (and in Jack’s case, 50 lbs and many bad hairstyles) ago. Of course, you could modify this with a lip ring, bible and cap for a Revolution Church-Jay Bakker look.

Flying Monkey Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #68

From the 2007 Archives:

Is it just me or does this Wizard of Oz Flying Monkey Halloween Costume look like he’s about to F you up? This thing isn’t a minion, it’s a thug. With boxing glove paws and a He-Man t-shirt, he’s ready to pop you one. I can’t tell if this monkey has wings or not. Indeed if it’s a flying monkey, it needs either wings or a jetpack. It certainly can’t fly by his Dumbo ears. Why the hell are his ears so big anyway? Props for the punky Mohawk, though.

The Flying Monkey Halloween Costume is available from Target.

Blue Man Group Halloween Costume Mask

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #67

From the 2007 Archives:

Yes, the BMG mutes are creepy but this Blue Man Group Halloween Costume Mask looks more like a blueberry-dipped Peter Boyle, a horrible encounter with a fruit roll up or Violet Beauregarde’s Papa. Maybe if you did something about the Caucaisan eye bags peeking from behind the waxy latex and found other suckers to don similar masks and join you, you could pull off the BMG ensemble. But otherwise, you’re just a solitary Blue Man. A very odd solitary Blue Man. Come to think about it, when I was 11, I dipped a candle that looked very much like this at a YMCA summer camp.

Hellvis / Evil Elvis Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #54

From the 2006 Archives:

Very doubtful that most folk will intuitively string together the Hell+Elvis = Hellvis play on words so be prepared to be mistaken for one slick flashy-red devil in this Hellvis / Evil Elvis Halloween Costume. Unless you actually believe Elvis is (or, for conspiracy theorists, belongs) in hell, underneath the cooler than thou exterior, Hellvis just don’t make much sense. But then again, neither do Dixie-fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches (Which I really couldn’t force myself to eat at the Sun Studio Cafe in Memphis, even though they were being served up by a heavily-tatted fry cook). Fundamentally, though, we all know that Elvis is waiting in line for that great big buffet on Neptune. And being the word, pop culture and absurdist geek that I am, I love, love, love Hellvis.

Sebastian Bach Heavy Metal Halloween Costume Wig

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #52
From the 2006 Archives:

Picture a suburban Mom or Dad gettin’ all duded up in one of these Sebastian Bach Halloween Costume Wigs and the doorbell chimes. Mom or Dad grabs the bowl of Tootsie Pops and greets the neighborhood trick or treaters who grab the candy, take one look at Mom or Dad, chortle and vow to return at midnight to TP the house. Why? Because unless you’re getting ready for just another Saturday night at the Rainbow, this costume will carbon-date you. And if you’re carbon-dated, you’re square. Except if you’re 70+ then you return to cool.

(Now if your heart is set on the Sebastian Bach Glam Rock wig, you can flex your brain and incorporate it into a collective Stars Hallow Supergroup costume featuring Gil, Kirk, Michel, Miss Patty, Taylor and Mrs. Kim. And then I will bow down before you and extend great tidings.)

Devo Whip It Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #51

From the 2006 Archives:

Good luck finding this Devo radiaton suit as it is sold out all over the place. The Devo Halloween Costume, accented by literal “Whip It” whip, is chumpy, cheap, outdated, odd and bizarrely heart-warming. Expect blank stares and occasional crying from tots.

Reno 911 Lt. Dangle Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #50

From the 2006 Archives:

Look closely, Lt. Dangle is made out of pleather. God bless the man that’s comfortable in hot-pants and is brave enough to parade about in this Lt. Dangle Reno 911 Halloween Costume of greatness. (Particularly if your audience is, shall we say, unfamiliar with the Reno gem.)

Television Set TV Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #42

From the 2006 Archives;

First of all, this Television TV Set Halloween Costume is of very poor construction. You can easily make a better one with black paint, tin foil and couple slabs of cardboard. This costume truly spotlights the wearer’s ego centrism. And what a way to celebrate your needy ego in an out-dated (rabbit ears!), shoddily crafted idiot-box. Perhaps if you paired a TV costume with an evil politician mask (your choice) and a pitchfork you might be saying SOMETHING. But as is, this costume is a disgrace to craftsmanship everywhere.