Kate Gosselin Halloween Costume Wig

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #128

I agree, Kate Gosselin, and the other face of Cerberus, Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate plus Eight are creepy, slimy and scary but do they need any more publicity with the Kate Gosselin Halloween Costume wig? The Labor Commission says NO! This Halloween Costume is almost as worse as the time kids trick-or-treated around my college campus as Patsy Ramsey.

Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #127

The Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume very strangely incorporates weird 3D retro glasses into a utilitarian asexual "Pat"-like brown jumpsuit. Super internationally savvy (and inherently non-American) folks might grin at this realistically bland rendition of America's favorite dictator and censor, or, more likely, they'll be remarking about the odd-looking robot on the loose around town. Really, how old is he?

The Kim Jong Il Halloween Costume is available from Ricky's.

Joe the Plumber Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #126

Dude. The election's over. Joe the Plumber is barely making it on the small town Republican speech circuit and has no business in the Halloween Mix. Forget the coverallicious Joe the Plumber Halloween Costume, its 15 minutes is over.

The Joe the Plumber Halloween Costume is available from Ricky's.

Illegal Alien Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #125
The Illegal Alien Halloween Costume packs a double-whammy punch of social crises into one orange get up. This Illegal Alien picks up where the Martian G Halloween Costume left off. We're not sure how the Alien ended up in the pokey, be it sneaking his UFO into the atmosphere or just exhibiting an all around bad communist attitude, but anyway you slice it, the dude's just not legit.

Harry Potter Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #124

I know, I know, Danielle Radcliffe is like an actual adult now but there's just something waaaaaay creepy about big people dressing up as children's storybook characters and the Harry Potter Halloween Costume is no exception. I mean, really. Holy Hogwarts, it looks like evil Harry Potter on growth hormones.

Bernie Madoff Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #123

The Bernie Madoff Halloween Costume is great... if you want to get pummeled. Halloween is a time of fun escapism and running around as this nation's preeminent poster grandpa of corruption and pyramid schemes is just way too skin-crawly scary. Know what it's like to get hit in the face by a sack of pennies? 'cause that's what you're in for.

Good in the Sack Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #122

The Good in the Sack Halloween Costume reeks of support group escapee. Any Tom, Dick and Harry that utilizes Halloween to tout their bedroom skills is a sure dud.  Inherently contradictory, Good in the Sack is a visually unexciting affliction with its  brown paper bag and annoying contrasty "Hello" sticker.  Good in the Sack is only good for holding trash.

Camel Toe Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #121

The Camel Toe Halloween Costume (Camille Toe Halloween Costume) is also known as Camille Toe. Although the Camel Toe Halloween Costume uses a nice color palette with its lime-green, dark-rose color scheme, the ill-fitting aerobics outfit, complete with cleavage-peekage really is just not an effective theme for the costume. Camel Toes are funny because of the inopportune ways that some clothing fits unsuspecting people in real-life settings - like a pair of too-tight trousers on the vajayjay of an english teacher. Unless you're a real sociopath, nobody getting down with exercise is going to be peering around at their compadres camel toes during Sweatin' to the Oldies. And if you're a serious exercise buff, my guess is your spandex will be nicely shaping your form eliminating the camel toe problem. Besides, those Jane Fonda workout suits are more known for their major wedgies than their camel toes.

Michael Phelps Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #120

Hello 2009!

The street name for the Michael Phelps Halloween Costume is Weedies (Wheaties). I originally didn't make the connection to the venerable gold-medal record-breaking Olympiad because the ears are just so huge on this scruffy guy. But on closer inspection, the medals around the neck, the goggles, the swimmer's cap and the bong in hand are telltale signs of the character. Now, the Michael Phelps Halloween Costume presents a conflicting twofold problem. One, parading around as a disgraced persona, a troubled athlete, a fallen media darling and jumping on the crazy "idolize then demonize" train of modern media is just not good karma, dude. Two, camera-friendly Michael Phelps seems to be rebounding nicely from his questionable judgement with continued public support which doesn't make for an outstanding Halloween costume. However, if you decided to rock the Speedo, too... eh, never mind, just don't do it.

The Michael Phelps Halloween Costume is available from Ricky's.

The Joker Batman Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #119

From the 2008 Archives:

Laughing yet? As I was driving my Granny through the deep, dark, woods, an old Buick thundered by us from the opposite direction of a no-lane road like a demon from hell. It was being driven by the above Heath Ledger as The Joker Halloween Costume. Now I did a quick search for “The Joker Halloween Costume” and the results were bountiful. Plenty of retail outlets are selling The Dark Knight: Joker Halloween Costumes for adults and children (good lord!) alike, to cash in on one of the most lucrative industries in history - celebrity death, tragedy and sensationalism.

Weed Ganja Marijuana Mary Jane Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes #118

From the 2007 Archives:

What came first, 420-friendlies buying the costumes on this list or the soul-gutting costume industry prompting 420-friendliness? I don’t know but I’d prefer a bunch of couch-contained tokers to any of these Weed Halloween Costumes running around my neighborhood. But hey, I’m a Californian.

Down for the Count Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #117

From the 2007 Archives:

A big thanks to inside tipster “A” for this one. Complex costume includes a cape, shirt and vest, nude pants with dropped trousers, and a lingerie-wearing inflatable doll. Hope you’re prepared for total immobility because there is no way you’re going to be able to walk in Down for the Count. And be prepared to keep company with inflatable dolls for a REALLY long time, chicks don’t dig misogyny.  Or puns.

The Down for the Count Halloween Costume is available at Halloween Street.

A Knight to Remember Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #116

From the 2007 Archives:

A Knight to Remember? Nah. Penis envy galore. Lower the mudflap. The sword is phallic enough. Another perfect example of how a good costume is ruined by a large schlong.

The A Knight to Remember Halloween Costume is available from Amazon.

Big Pussy Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #115

From the 2007 Archives:

Bet-loser. Stop cutesy smiling and go find your Tricky Dick.  You belong together.  Who would even buy one of these things?  A transgendered person trying to work out their  psychological issues via a misguided notion about what it means to be an XX?  Even that’s pushing it.  Sheesh.

The Big Pussy Halloween Costume is available from Nawty Things.

Sperm Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #114

From the 2007 Archives:

Hee hee. This costume will ONLY work if the wearer keeps swimming on the dance floor. Otherwise… it’s just sperm hanging around a party. Kind of tame. Too cutesy to be gross. You could pair this up with a black-light and a CSI costume (also popular this year) and do a crime scene installation or one of those disturbing “Look What’s Really in Your Hotel Room” 20/20 investigations.

Tricky Dick Halloweenie Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #113

DUE TO THE GRAPHIC NATURE OF THE TRICKY DICK HALLOWEEN COSTUME, THE PHOTO IS NOT AVAILABLE

From the 2007 Archives:

Dick in a dick. If you fit the demographic of who actually buys this Tricky Dick Halloween Costumes, your buddies are going to be too homophobic to even KNOW you this Halloween. And are any ladies going to want to hang around a big penis?  I’ll spell it out.  N-O.  Tricky Dick is limp, dude. Really limp.  And obviously obese.

Halloweenie Penis Costume

Flasher Granny Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #112

From the 2007 Archives:

Apparently the industry lacks a learning curve as someone’s gotten into the plungers and moldy Easy Cheese again. Flasher Granny also comes in a Flasher Gramps version. A few years ago my Aunt JoJo was flashed by a geezer on a Florida beach. And yo, NOBODY wanted to see that.  True funny stands on its own.  Shock isn’t necessary.  So pull up those knee-highs and keep it buttoned up!

The Flasher Granny Halloween Costume is available from Halloween Fashions.

Tara Reid Wardrobe Malfunction Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #111

From the 2007 Archives:

This Tara Reid Halloween Costume also goes by the name “Wardrobe Malfunction” but it looks suspiciously like one of Tara Reid’s more publicized red carpet moments. Pokes fun at celebrities under the influence, poor fashion sense and bad business management when these issues should be taken very seriously. Please don’t expose your children to this.

The Tara Reid / Wardrobe Malfunction Halloween Costume is available from Easleys.

Italian Momma Strega Nonna Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes #110

From the 2007 Archives:

I feel the same way as the activists do about this Italian Momma. How DARE Fright Catalog assume that my Italian Nonna is as scary as Leatherface! So what if I was beaten as a child by a wooden spoon? And if I was banned from even looking at knickknacks and plastic-covered furniture it was out of love, damn it!

The Italian Momma / Strega Nonna Halloween Costume is available from Fright Catalog.

Champion Cock Fighter Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #109

From the 2007 Archives:

Thanks to Raisenette for the 11th Hour tip of the Champion Cock Fighter Halloween Costume. I chose Champion Cock for the King of all Inappropriateness because it is hideously ugly, abnormal, topical and ethically repugnant. The obvious – as per the case of Michael Vic, animal fights for sport are, to say the least, culturally unacceptable in the mighty USA. You’re definitely going to need those boxing gloves if you wear this costume, son, because you’re going to get your ass whooped. And on a sportsmanship note, what’s up with the cracked-out chicken eyes? Someone’s been drugging before the big match again. And traveling a little further, the human-like abs… what the hell is this thing anyway? I’m so far lost in its mire I can barely peck my way out. Dang, it’s like Chernobyl at the Perdue Plant.

Christmas Tree Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #108

From the 2007 Archives:

Sweet lord, whoever shimmies into this Christmas Tree Halloween Costume gets the Hatchetface respect. I like the fully conceptualized design of this costume, from star atop head to wrapped presents on feet. Heck, even the arms and legs flawlessly mesh with the overall ensemble. Great color scheme too. Of course the costume is holiday inappropriate for Halloween, but a mere month later, this Christmas tree could stand innocuously against a wall and scare the bajeebers out of passersby. Genius.

The Christmas Tree Halloween Costume is available from Anytime Costumes.

Bad Santa Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #107

From the 2007 Archives:

The Klaus in the Bad Santa Halloween Costume be downing major Haterade and I’m a sucker for monochromes. The clangly bell, touching on sketchy Salvation Army wheelings and dealings (Really, they lawyered up against Pop Pop’s loaded friend – angry at their mere 10% cut – after he left the bulk of his estate to his son, and threatened to bankrupt the estate if they didn’t get more, more, more! The SA’s threats, sadly, were effective.) integrates a sophisticated shade of foulness into an already damnable costume. Bah Humbug Santa isn’t jolly-portly like his red and white counterpart. Rather, he’s an indulgent but fun-loving rough rider who’d assuredly pop you one if you got on the wrong side of his sleigh. Bad Santa is anti-holiday and dang satisfied!

The Bad Santa Halloween Costume is available from Halloween Costumes 4U.

Tropical Gorilla Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes #106
From the 2007 Archives:

The Tropical Gorilla Halloween Costume is an existential exercise in the intersection of global cultures. Why is an African gorilla wearing Polynesian coconuts and Western dungarees? Did the Planet of the Apes take a vacation? The heck if I know but it looks like it’s having a whale of a time and I gotta be down with that. Pass the Mai Tais, Kong.

Dog Shalom Rabbi Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume#105

From the 2007 Archives:

I like this Dog Shalom Rabbi Halloween Costume because the royal blue yarmulke and Star of David sash perfectly complement the weimaraner’s skin tone and somber expression. The dachshund, however, is just plain ridiculous.

Sherlock Holmes Golfer Halloween Costume for Dog

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #104

From the 2007 Archives:

Have to domesticate, I mean, humiliate your house beast? Try this Sherlock Holmes Halloween Costume for dogs. Actually, I think it’s really an outfit for pups ready to hit the links. Either way, with the tartan tam and bow tie, Sherlock Dog wistfully reminds me of Greyfriars Bobby. Bloody hell, it’s wrong but so precious.

The Sherlock Holmes Halloween Costume is available from Target.

Baby Elvis Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #103

From the 2007 Archives:

No denying, this baby in the Elvis Baby Halloween Costume is bad ass. And don’t you dare make fun of the ill-fitting Mr. T ‘do. Elvis baby is taking care of business and you better deal with it. Just ask the snarl. I love it..

Disco Toddler Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #102

From the 2007 Archives:

Is the disco era really something we need to culturally immortalize? But my stars, this kid in the Disco Toddler Halloween Costume looks super fly in his fluffy afro, powder blue and sequined jumpsuit. The Hatchetheart melts just a little. My only suggestion, outfit Junior with some smooth white platforms.

Marshmallow Peeps Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume#101

From the 2007 Archives:

I must confess. I like Just Born Marshmallow Peeps. I could easily down a tray or two of those sugary sweet slightly-stale squishy delights. (Of course I would feel bloated and nauseated afterwards but sometimes, like this costume, you gotta do what feels good NOW) The Marshmallow Peeps Halloween Costume is dorky but cute, bad for you but irresistible.

Can of Whoop Ass Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #100

From the 2007 Arhives:

Hee hee. The Inflatable Can of Whoop Ass Halloween Costume could really sock you a good one. Of course, I’d really like a geek crawl up into one of these things and see what happens. There’s just something about a ‘roid rager popping out of a constrictive can that sure tickles my funny bone. A modern equivalent of trick snakes jumping out of a fake peanut can. Bring on the juice! I mean, nobody’s going to encourage this thing with sugar if it trick-or-treats but it’d still be fun to see it roaming the ‘hood.

The Whoop Ass halloween Costume is available from Buy Costumes.

Crazy Cat Lady Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #99

From the 2007 Archives:

Crazy Cat Ladies are naturally scary and demented and shouldn’t be exploited even if they pass out weird Halloween treats like figs or kibble and you don’t really want to solicit their houses but end up on their porch ‘cuz the older kids dare you. Heaven forbid a Crazy Cat Lady Costume should meet a real Crazy Cat Lady. The universe might implode in a giant hairball. What both Cat Ladies have in common are a disheveled sense of simplicity. The lines and modernist colors of this nutty wardrobe immediately grab the eye. While the cat heads are abnormal, they quite nicely circularly accent the salmon pink robe. And cognitive recognition won’t pose a problem. Everyone can spot (and smell) a Crazy Cat Lady from miles away. Meow.

Nice Beaver Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #98

From the 2007 Archives:

If you don’t understand the double entendre of the Nice Beaver Halloween Costume then you’re too young to be reading this post. But really, the Beaver Costume looks like it’s crafted from high quality materials and that’s the first step to appropriateosity. I like this get-up in a very DEAD ALIVE, wrong but funny, way. Attitude is everything in animal costumes – cool, confident and relaxed is the only way to go.

The Nice Beaver Halloween Costume is available from Ricky's Halloween.

Enormous Holiday Christmas Bear Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #97


From the 2007 Archives:

Forget cute and cuddly, this jacked bear scares the crap out of me. Overlook the holiday-inappropriate Santa hat and the enormous ’80s bow on the collar, the black leather Hell’s Angels vest and tough paw winds up for a hearty bitch slap. A walking animatronic nightmare.

The Ginormous Holiday Christmas Bear is available from Halloween Costumes 4U.

Dog Mermaid Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #96

From the 2007 Archives:

I haven’t seen anything this cryptozoologically incorrect since Cheetah and Ma saw that ostrich-grizzly last summer. Costume + Pets = Bad. Costumes Restricting Hindquarter Mobility + Pets= Worse. A great new cause for Ellen.

The Dog Mermaid Halloween Costume is available from Ebay.

Adult Baby and Grandma Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #95

From the 2007 Archives:

Why oh why is this huge man-baby humping his granny? Big baby with endocrine issues (or abnormal toddler or regressive adolescent) has oodles of fun while granny silently screams. Adult Baby Humping Granny illustrates the dark side of a failure to wean. Proportionally disturbing, it elicits more questions than answers.

Adult Baby Humping Grandma is available from Party America.

Fig Leaf Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #94

From the 2007 Archives:

Mea Culpa! Would you be able to identify the foliage in the Fig Leaf Halloween Costume if it came bopping ’round your ‘hood? Didn’t think so. Sure, you’d get extra points for being confident enough to dally around in those green tights but do you really want to embody the foliage most known for covering repressed jock areas? Enormous cartoon Mickey gloves fused with lost Fruit of the Loom mascot will only elicit a lot of Halloween “huh?”s.

Child Bride Halloween Costume for Kids

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #93

From the 2007 Archives:

Um… Conservative and creepy and primeval all at the same time with the Child Bride Halloween Costume. If your child wants, above all else, to be a bride this Halloween, rethink how your parenting techniques. You’re setting Biffy up for a lifetime of disappointments and bad choices.

The Child Bride Halloween Costume is availalbe from Lillian Vernon.

Fat Cheerleader Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #92

From the 2007 Archives:

Straight from an episode of Dr. Phil, a question of scruples plumps out in the Fat Cheerleader Halloween Costume. One one hand, we shouldn’t be maligning attempts for big-boned ladies to shake their groove thang but on the other hand, we shouldn’t be stoking the obesity epidemic. But no matter how you shake it, nobody (except chubby chasers who’ll loathe your false temptations) wants to see a blobular gut hanging over a retro cheerleader’s skirt. (Straight from Rydell High, yes?) Your only choice? Just don’t do it.

The Fat Cheerleader Halloween Costume is available from Halloween Express.

Horny Bastard Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #91

From the 2007 Archives:

The Horny Bastard Halloween Costume merges the worst bits of the “This is My Costume” T-shirts with post-pubescent humor. A costume that isn’t a costume heralding literal lameness, Horny Bastard is too stupid and smug to be threatening. That is, perfect for a Prep who wants to slum it up this holiday by going dirty anti-establishment. Of course we all know that anyone shirking creativity (especially on Halloween!) commits a cardinal sin and should be immediately placed upon the seat of honor in the carnival dunk tank to be thrown upon the mercy of a wrathful society.

Runny Butt Medical Patient Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #90

From the 2007 Archives:

Apparently this Runny Butt Halloween Costume monstrosity comes with a bulb that you push to make things squish out of the butt. You will, however, need to purchase your own toilet paper. Butt-revealing hospital gown suggests that this prize is in the process of receiving medically treatment. For what? Anyone’s guess. Then again, those drawn to this costume need to be committed.

The Runny Butt Halloween Costume is available from E Costumes.

Boob Head Halloween Costume Mask

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #89

From the 2007 Archives:

Doesn’t this thing belong in a Muppets movie? This Boob Head Halloween Costume Mask is a little too well-crafted as the boobs flow naturally from the upper cheeks creating the illusion of a crusty geezer with saggy mole-pocked jowls. Or a mutated lab hamster stockpiling snacks. Will anyone get it? The geeks, maybe. And the rest? It’s all about getting candy, getting loaded and smashing pumpkins. Nobody’s gonna think on H-Day!

The Boob Head Halloween Costume Mask is available from Haunted Props.

Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #88

From the 2007 Archives:

The Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume, pre-Trim Spa bulging hot pink one-piece paired with platinum ‘do, says more than enough. Listen, I was never a fan of the woman but sometimes we’ve got to rise above and not kick ‘em when they're down. Or dead.

The Anna Nicole Smith Halloween Costume is available from Costumes 4 Less.

Harem Concubine Halloween Costume for Dogs

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #87

From the 2007 Archives:

It’s one thing for you to slut it up for Halloween but must you drag your dog into it? The Harem-Concubine-Belly Dancer Dog Halloween Costume (and photograph, for that matter) is plain dog porn horrific. Like Paris Hilton, this dog’s beauty is destroyed by indulgent over-crapccessorizing. It’s time for a revolution. Say no to puppy mills and say no to Harem Dog!

Special Forces Halloween Costume for Kids

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #86

From the 2007 Archives:

Trick or treat! Give me all of your @#$*(&! candy! Think you’d be scared if this Special Forces Halloween Costume for Kids came a knockin’? Tough! Special Forces Junior will throw tear gas through your window, break down your door and take whatever the Osama he wants anyway ’cause we know the squirt ain’t on any counter-terrorism missions. War! What is it good for? Besides injecting thuggish fear into law-abiding citizens, this Special Forces Costume for Kids flaunts illegally realistic firepower. Parents, use sound judgment. Take away Junior’s ATV and don’t buy him this ensemble!

Trailer Park King Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #85

From the 2007 Archives:

What is the lowest common denominator? Those on the bottom rungs of the socioeconomic ladder or those choosing to exploit those on the bottom rungs of the socioeconomic ladder? You know whom I vote for. Let’s examine this revolting Trailer Park King Halloween Costume: “blue-collar” coveralls, a trucker hat, a white undershirt, a pot belly and some pretty fly boots. Inconsistently insulting. And I don’t know if anyone’s been to a trailer park recently, but some of those trailers are frickin’ sweet rides. Not just for hurricanes anymore, folks.

Shaggy Hippie Scooby Doo Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #84
From the 2007 Archives:

And your kid is representing your 420-loving proclivities and wistfulness of the days of yore. Come on, Johnny’s ability to think beyond the scope of corporate mass marketing disappeared 20 years ago. It’s all about artificial struggles (Transformers / Halo 3) this year. So we know that this kid’s inappropriate Scooby Doo Halloween costume is all his capitalist hippie parents’ doing. I mean not even the wind-blown wig is authentic. Anyone who knows anything about Scooby Doo knows that Shaggy sported a much Nappier ‘do. Zoinks.

Christmas Holiday Santa Cat Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #83
From the 2007 Archives:

Who says this cat kills its owner in his sleep? Nothing chimes Holiday Spirit less than a feline in a Santa hat and matching holly scarf. Be prepared for a Dickensian intervention. Tip #1: Nobody will fawn over your Christmas cat. They will be too busy questioning your mental soundness. Tip #2: If your cat tolerates this outfit, what you own is not a cat.

Suicide Bomber Watch Dog Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #82
From the 2007 Archives:

So the official name of this Halloween costume is “Watch Dog” but whom are we kidding? This outfit is straight up modern suicide bomber. Yeah, this costume is future-weapons scary but like your dog’s going to get confiscated, arrested and sent to GitMo, blown up in a counter-terrorism move and/or become a martyr/poster mutt for the jihad. And look at this poor pooch’s face. He knows he’s about to be sent into dangerous territory. It’s not his fault that he’s innately predisposed to trade his life for the Milkbone sign up bonus. ALALALALA! Someone contact the ASPCA/United Nations ASAP!

Pigs in a Blanket Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #81

From the 2007 Archives:

The Pigs in a Blanket Halloween Costume squeals poor sense of humor and is ideal perfect for anyone who ever dressed up for “Pajama Day” during their high school’s Spirit Week. That is, not I. This fellow’s endearing expression enhances the creep factor of this Halloween costume as I so find the appetizer Pigs in a Blanket likewise macabre. I am certain, actually, that Pigs in a Blanket, Beanie Weenie, Cocktail Wieners (all served at Strassies’ picnics) are a leading contributor to my herbivorism. While I like pigs as animals, enjoy the movie BABE and admit that this costume is zoologically correct (pigs like to burrow in things such as blankets and straw), I just can’t get behind a costume or person that would promote a freakish appetizer in such a cuddly fashion.

Adam and Eve Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #80

From the 2007 Archives:

If you are not an albino, you should not be wearing this blindingly pale body suit adorned with shiny plastic fig leaves. As we all know, Halloween’s just another excuse to get naked and gorge on sweets so why don the body suit at all? A more natural – and more biblical – approach (which even the prudes can admit looks much better) can be crafted with just a spool of thread and handful of foliage. Beware of companies selling Adam and Eve costumes with floral leis… nowhere in Genesis does it say that A&E got their groove on at any luaus.

Slutty Librarian Halloween Costume

Inappropriate Halloween Costume #79

From the 2007 Archives:

As Target so eloquently illustrates, one man’s “sassy” is another man’s “slutty”. Who knew such fine social institutions could be so desecrated? While libraries may favor protecting your identity over revealing who’s checking out threatening materials to Big Brother, they will not tolerate porn-surfing on their computers. Therefore, I can not honestly believe in the authenticity of this Madame Librarian. (Unless she works for Flynt Publications.)

The Slutty Naughty Sassy Librarian Halloween Costume is available from Target.