Octomom Halloween Costume

The Octomom "Womb Raider" Halloween Costume posits Nadya Suleman, America's favorite baby-obsessed, collagen-friendly, Angelina Jolie-lookalike, with Mrs. Brad Pitt's star-making turn as Laura Croft in Tomb Raider. Octomom features plastic tubby babies - presumably ammunition for or against the paparazzi and social services - affixed to the most bad-ass snugly ever... a criss-crossing ass-kicking bandolier which is perfect for anyone refusing to take nature's no for an answer.

The Octomom "Womb Raider" Halloween Costume is available from Rickys.

Sewer Rat Halloween Costume

I generally abhor life-size animal costumes for their cloying attempts to cuddle us to death but I detest the Sewer Rat Halloween Costume for a completely different reason... it's just so greasy. Taking a page out of a condemned KFC playbook, Sewer Rat dons a wife-beater shirt for added authenticity. All too reminiscent of one of the most hated characters from children's literature - Templeton from Charlotte's Web. The head emerging from the mouth also evokes a powerful gag reflex.

The Sewer Rat Halloween Costume is available from Spirit Halloween.

Scarface Tony Montana Halloween Costume

The Scarface / Tony Montana Halloween Costume is the quintessential college man's milieux, right up there with beer pong, corn nuts and illegal hazing... that is, way overplayed. Heavens knows why we need to glorify the thug life,l even with someone as sharply dressed as Tony. Guaranteed, if you show up to the party as this guy, you'll meet at least five others. So if you want to sail around South Beach, you'd better be damn sure you're the most smokin' one if you ever want to score an Elvira.

The Scarface Halloween Costume is available everywhere.

Trophy Wife Halloween Costume

A Trophy Wife Halloween Costume? Like gag me with a martini olive. That is so 1980s. Really, it's the year of the cougar, baby. The Trophy Wife Halloween Costume places a Dynasty-esque creature on a literal "trophy" base and has poor blondie confined like some pathetic American Gigolo reject. Let's hope Trophy Wife is someone's bad idea of a joke or else y'all need to get off of your yacht and go straight to the therapist's chair.

The Trophy Wife Halloween Costume is available from Costume Supercenter.

Oompa Loompa Halloween Costume for Child

Yikes! As if the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory didn't do enough to distort the already freakish Oompa Loompas. That mistake of nature Willy Wonka himself couldn't do any more harm than getting entangled with the creepy Oompa Loompa population. While the new version loses the tri-tipped orange afros of yore, it adds a sharp, coldness to an already disturbing omnipotence. This child-size version of the futuristic evil space Oompa Loompas features a super shiny, surely non-breathable fabric. Snooty expression on child's face extra. The Oompa Loompa Halloween Costume for Child is available from Costume Zone.

Big Top Circus Halloween Costume

Yup, this winner's got Ringling Brothers red-striped big top tent wrapped around his groin with an elephant trunk protruding where a happy oh-no-he-didn't might be. Guys, really, y'all are way to obsessed with your own equipment and to associate it with a family-fun circus? Ew. Crowds are going to skip the shows in all three rings. Seriously, Dumbo would not approve. The Big Top Circus Halloween Costume is available from Arlene's Costumes.

Party in My Pants Halloween Costume

The Party In My Pants Halloween makes a most creepily trash-tastic pairing of rainbow balloons and ten-for-a-dolla white skivvies. A low-brow representation of a low-brow idiom, Party In My Pants guarantees to clear the room faster than a nerd in the girls' locker room. With its perverse clown stylings, the only exposure Party In My Pants is going to get is run and hide the children kind. Mark my RSVP as no way, Jose! The Party In My Pants Halloween Costume is available from Prank Place.